Its now July 6,2021 and the life altering chaos is receding. The sheer volume of pain and suffering from complete and utter failure has left its mark deep into this Warrior. In one month I will have spent a year with the clarity of my future... Divorced and Business-less.
I believed I was able to be a good husband and business person at the same time. At the height of my clarity, the belief in the vision that the Warrior was a path to a prophetic, philanthropic, and peaceful contribution to the world. It was the greatest source of joy and energy for my Warrior. I believed I found the perfect mate to go through this journey and really enjoy what it meant to be creating something together. I couldn't have been more wrong. Insert Expletive (IE)
To her, I am sorry for not being crystal clear on what I wanted to do from the get go...
I wanted to, take the great product and share it with the world.
I wanted to use the product to build more joy for others through experiences.
I wanted to live simply and keep it simple by letting others grow what the Warrior started.
In order for any of these things to happen, a person, a Warrior must be 100% committed to the vision and have 100% focus. I do not blame anyone but myself for the previous or the following.... I failed and let myself go from 100% down to 5%...I blame nobody but myself because I wanted to do this on my own ... (IE).... the help that was required was greater than the help I wanted to ask for... (IE)... The help that was offered was NOT the help I wanted...(IE)... The expertise was more than I wanted to spend...(IE). The smallest taste of success appeared and then the world changed....(IE).... I could go on... but I won't (IE).
Left with 5% and a few pairs of shorts and shirts, I cried in my own pity. Full of fear and anger (IE), the only source of joy remained MOVEMENT. I found that a good therapist to share my own side of the pain with and daily movement was a way to get my % numbers to go up...(IE)...drinking and sleeping and catching Covid didn't (IE) help...and one year later, 335 days later I am still not at 100%...
so where am I? Where is the WARRIOR?
Spending so much time actually praying for peace has been a part of growth for me. My belief in God has been strengthened through every experience. I have strengthened my friendships from my experiences and the notion that none of us really knows what another is "going through." I have grown into a better man by truly strengthening how I observe others and not judging them. I have strengthened my soul by practicing simple cathartic exercises that rebuild all of the broken pieces. I have witnessed the GRACE given to me by the community for all of the times I could not be strong.
For all of this my Warrior is filled and my Warrior is Stronger than ever. We cannot be 100% alone... from here on out the PHIT WARRIOR will find strength in others, ask for help from others, and learn from others so that we can all be strong together.